How can we put a value on personal development?
Yes, I understand how this looks. The first blog on this website is about price. It sets a certain tone… I know. But bear with me; this blog is about far more than money.
I've been going down a cost-and-value-rabbit-hole the last year or two whilst I examined my own biases and relationship around money. I've been talking about it with my friends so much that one commented, 'It's all about money with you, isn't it?'. I can see how it might look like that, but really, I’m fascinated our view of value, and how that might affect our personal growth. Since you are here presumably with an interest in working with me as a Guide, we shall examine it through that lens. So, if you're ready for a little journey into value, let's begin.
The Value Paradox: Why We Resist Personal Investment
The curious thing I have found is that often with any investment in ourselves, we often resist paying more for the services that could create the most value in our lives. This resistance isn't just about saving money—it runs deeper into our psychology and is influenced by our cultural views of value.
Research in behavioural economics might help us understand why. Kahneman and Tversky's research on ‘Prospect Theory’ discovered that humans feel losses more intensely than equivalent gains. This can create a psychological barrier to investing in our future selves. We feel the immediate "pain" of spending money, and the motivation to avoid that is much stronger than thinking of the future benefits(Kahneman & Tversky, 1979).
This resistance in investing in our future self can be especially strong when it comes to our emotional, behavioural, or spiritual growth. Unlike a new laptop, the benefits of integration or transformational work aren't immediately tangible. As Norton and Gino's research shows, we struggle to accurately predict how experiences will affect our future selves, consistently underestimating their long-term impact (Norton & Gino, 2014).
Our relationship with money itself complicates matters further. Psychologist Brad Klontz identifies "money scripts"—unconscious beliefs about money formed in childhood—that significantly influence our financial behaviours. His research reveals that many people operate from scarcity-based scripts that create automatic resistance to significant investments in personal growth (Klontz et al., 2011).
This resistance creates what is called the "investment-enjoyment gap"—we tend to underinvest in experiences that research shows actually provide lasting happiness and meaning and overinvest in items are experiences that have no lasting value (Norton & Dunn, 2013).
In the context of integration work following transformative experiences, this issue becomes even more pronounced. Having glimpsed new possibilities through a retreat or medicine journey, we are faced with investing in something that our pre-transformation self wouldn't have valued and that our newly awakened self cannot yet fully comprehend.
This is where the paradox deepens; the very experiences that deserve proper integration can be those that have shifted our perspective so dramatically that we may struggle to accurately value the integration itself.
Beyond money and time
It's easy to see how talking about money is tricky when it comes to investing in our personal growth, but I feel this is worth emphasising. In most other situations, we are used to a simple exchange of money for services. Uniquely, when investing in ourselves, we are paying for our potential development, the impact of which we can never know when we first commit.
When you purchase a physical product, the value is immediately apparent. The speed and battery life of new phone. The comfort and confidence-boost of a new pair of shoes. But when you invest in yourself, you're purchasing something less immediately tangible yet potentially far more powerful. You're not just purchasing time or techniques from your therapist, coach, or guide. You're investing in a relationship, a process, the possibility of immense change.
Psychologists Richard Ryan and Edward Deci, discovered that when we choose to invest in something—not because someone forces us, but because we genuinely want to—we're more likely to stay committed. It's like making a promise to yourself. The financial investment becomes a felt commitment, a way of saying, "I'm taking this seriously. I'm worth this investment." (Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. 2000)
The Commitment Catalyst
You can think of this money exchange as a spark for transformation. Like the correct measure of catalyst in a chemical reaction, the right level of investment can accelerate personal growth processes that might otherwise remain dormant.
Robert Kegan's developmental psychology work illustrates how transformative learning occurs not through passive reception, but through active commitment.
Kegan argues that meaningful personal transformation requires:
Commitment
Vulnerability
Willingness to challenge existing mental frameworks
A supportive environment that allows for safe exploration
A person who wants the best for their future self can bring their commitment to growth, as well as their vulnerability and their willingness to change. The guide brings perspective, presence, and a safe environment for that transformation. Money becomes the connective piece that helps bridge these two commitments.
Here is a point that I cannot stress enough; It's an invitation. The most powerful transformations happen when individuals choose their level of investment consciously and authentically. The guide's role is to create a container that supports that choice, not to lead to an outcome that does not benefit.
As behavioural economist Dan Ariely's research on the "IKEA effect" suggests, we value what we co-create and participate in building (Ariely et al., 2012). When we invest appropriately in our integration process, starting with deciding together the monetary value of our sessions, we become active co-creators rather than passive consumers, fundamentally magnifying the future impact. The higher investment deepens our commitment, making us even more likely to fully engage in the hard work that makes integration successful.
This perspective transforms pricing from an uncomfortable negotiation to a connective discussion about value, potential, and mutual respect.
Our goal in co-creation
Naturally, everyone I work with sits down with me and discusses value and commitment before starting our work together. What is the intention of these conversations? It isn't about finding the highest investment you can afford. It's about finding that sweet spot where the investment feels meaningful to you—enough that you are committed to your growth, yet not too much that this is unsustainable. Essentially, I want to find your answers to these questions;
What level of investment would help me take this seriously?
At what point does the cost create anxiety rather than excitement?
How much am I willing to prioritize my personal growth right now?
Traditional service models treat pricing like a one-size-fits-all menu. But transformative work is hinged on the relationship with your coach/guide/therapist, and completely unique. The right investment looks different for everyone. Ultimately, the most important piece is having a comfortable and respectful conversation. A guide worth their investment will:
Be transparent about pricing
Discuss value openly
Help you explore what investment means for your specific journey
Be willing to have honest conversations about affordability and commitment
The right guide doesn't sell a service—they invite you to co-create your own growth.
I look forward to discussing with you both how we can work together and how you value that work.